


Ties That Bind

by audbooh



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, BDSM, Bondage, F/M, Femdom, Forbidden Love, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Smut, Space Cafe Exchange 2020, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:33:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26879005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audbooh/pseuds/audbooh
Summary: That doesn’t stop her stomach from blanching at the sight of his mask. Is he wearing it again, hiding his face from the galaxy? She remembers that face, remembers how tears slipped from those cheeks, remembers how his eyes widened when their fingers brushed against each other.Rey turns away, taking a shaky breath. She can’t focus on this, can’t let herself be distracted. She has a duty to the Resistance, to the galaxy.It doesn’t stop the pain in her heart when she glances back at the mask.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23
Collections: Space Cafe 2020 Exchange





	Ties That Bind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DarkKnightDarkSide](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkKnightDarkSide/gifts).



> Sorry it's late, I wanted to make sure it would be perfect. This is honestly one of the best fics I've ever written, and I hope you enjoy it!

His face is everywhere. 

She stares at the holoboard, flashing with announcements from all over the galaxy. In the middle is his mask, glaring at her. _Join the First Order,_ the poster says. _Live safely. Live freely._

She has to resist slamming her staff into the holoboard. It would do more harm than good, she knows. The people of this small village need it. 

That doesn’t stop her stomach from blanching at the sight of his mask. Is he wearing it again, hiding his face from the galaxy? She remembers that face, remembers how tears slipped from those cheeks, remembers how his eyes widened when their fingers brushed against each other.

Rey turns away, taking a shaky breath. She can’t focus on this, can’t let herself be distracted. She has a duty to the Resistance, to the galaxy.

It doesn’t stop the pain in her heart when she glances back at the mask. 

* * *

The bond is shut tight. Rey is sure of it. But sometimes, when she’s sitting on her small bed, staring at the durasteel walls of their temporary base, she wishes it wasn’t. Wishes she could see him again. 

But she can’t. She won’t open it again. Because if she did, she might run into his arms and leave the galaxy behind.

She is strong. She is a Jedi. She resists the dark. 

Finn is taking her away. Says it’s for a mission, but there’s a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. Rey thinks he’s been hanging out with Poe too much.

He takes her to a planet with waterfalls made of crystals and bright red trees. Rey’s never seen anything like it before. She gasps, a smile gracing her face as she feels the velvet-soft leaves and smells the crisp air. 

“It rains crystals here,” Finn says, taking her hand. He squeezes it gently, eyes glued to the waterfall. “Rey, is everything okay?” She takes a deep breath, wrenching her eyes from the sight before her.

“Yeah,” Rey says, closing her eyes, taking in the wind brushing against her. Amber eyes flash in her mind, and she opens hers, a twinge fluttering in her heart. “Everything’s okay.”

* * *

She’s sitting on a rock, surrounded by bright green trees. Legs folded, hands resting on knees, eyes closed. _Breathe_ , she whispers to herself. _Reach out_. Feel the life coursing through nature around her. Feel the bugs crawling through a nearby log, feel the leaves as they fall gracefully to the ground, feel the roots as they stretch and grow. _Let go_. 

Rey opens her eyes and gasps. There is Ben, mirroring her position, dark eyes wide. His hands are tense, clutching the fabric of his trousers. There is a tiredness to him, set in his bones. Rey can’t help the ping of sympathy at his ragged appearance. 

They don’t say a word. Hands twitch. Eyes glance elsewhere. Rey’s heart is racing, beating so fast she is sure it is jumping out of her chest. The sound of the forest is muted, and she is left only with the sounds of Ben’s harsh breathing. She closes her eyes, trying to focus on closing the bond. When she opens her eyes, he is still there. Lips slightly parted, gaze focused on her. She feels that _twinge_ in her chest, but pushes it down.

“Rey,” Ben whispers, voice ragged and deep. The bond slams shut, and Rey gasps for breath.

The bond refuses to close entirely. He appears on the edges of her vision, flickering in and out. He’s in the corner while Poe bends over a map, brows narrowed in frustration. He’s beside her while she holds the broken lightsaber in her hand. He’s curled away from her, laying on an invisible bunk as his chest slowly rises and falls. She can’t escape him, and he can’t escape her.

She watches him as he sleeps. He is always curled in on himself, protecting himself with his body. His face is contorted at points, fists clutching invisible sheets. His sleep is not peaceful. Rey wants to run her hands through his hair, wants to hold him close to her and tell him that he was okay. That he was safe. 

Neither of them are safe. They are in the midst of a war, one that doesn’t allow for connections. They are on opposite sides, destined to strike the other down or die trying. This war doesn’t allow for soft spoken words in the middle of the night. It only allows violence.

Rey pulls herself out of her thoughts to see dark eyes staring at her. She tightens her hands into fists, willing her body to stay still. Ben is sitting on the edge of his bed, hunched forward and elbows resting on his thighs. 

They don’t dare to move. Rey is sure he can hear her heart slamming into her ribcage. Ben’s eyes have dark circles under them, his fingers shaking. She glares at him, wanting him to do something, _anything_. Yell at her, turn away from her, _something._ This delicate uncertainty between them is unnerving. Ben simply stares, eyes glimmering with pain. She’s reminded of another time, when he held his hand out to her on the _Supremacy_. _Join me,_ he had asked, tears shining. _Please._

“Leave me alone,” Rey says, breaking their precious peace and dragging her knees to her chest. Ben doesn’t move, his carefully-constructed mask of indifference shattering. He doesn’t reply.

The bond between them cuts away, and Rey can’t stop the tears from falling down her face.

* * *

Luke’s Jedi texts are spread out around her, cluttered as Rey holds the two pieces of the broken kyber crystal. She flips through a few, skimming through them. The texts mention crystal caves on a planet called Ilum, but Leia tells her that the Jedi structures there have long been destroyed. The only hope of repairing the lightsaber rests on her shoulders. 

_Life, death, decay that leads to new life._ Rey’s voice echoes in her head. _And between those things?_ Between these two pieces of the kyber crystal? _That same Force._

Rey places the pieces of the kyber crystal in the slot, closing it and wrapping the newly-repaired lightsaber hilt with leather. She reaches out with the Force, feeling the broken crystals. She weaves the Force, sewing the two pieces back together. They melt together, the Force singing inside her. _Finally_ , it says. 

Rey grabs the lightsaber, sensing the relief pouring from the crystal. She ignites it, and a brilliant blue blade shoots from the hilt. Rey laughs, unable to keep herself from smiling at her work. She did it. Rey presses the button, and the blade melts back into the hilt.

Ben is standing off to the side, face twisted in anger but eyes filled with pain. In that moment, he reminds her of Han. _Why did you hate your father…_ Rey’s good mood falls away, and she scowls at him.

“What do you not understand! Leave. Me. Alone!” She can’t help the snarl that seeps through her words. His arms are folded across his chest, tunic open to show the undershirt clinging to his torso. “I’m trying,” he says. Rey’s anger escapes her at the frustration in his voice. “I thought we ended the connection at Crait.”

“We?” Rey scoffs, turning away from him. She can’t go back to this. Talking, like on Ahch-To. She can’t repeat what happened there. “ _We_ didn’t do anything. _I_ closed the bond.”

“How did you do that?” His voice has taken on that curiosity again as he takes a step forward. Rey holds the lightsaber in front of her, fingers hovering over the ignite button. Ben doesn’t falter, just continues to stare at her with _those eyes._

“I’m not talking to you,” Rey snarls. Her fingers are shaking, her stomach twisting. Ben ignites feelings inside her that she doesn’t want to think about. She wishes he would just _go away_. He makes things complicated, in a way she can’t escape from. _Why couldn’t he leave the First Order behind?_

There’s no point thinking of what if’s. He didn’t leave the First Order, he is still her enemy, so she can’t keep doing this.

She closes her eyes, concentrating on the flickers of the Force tying them together. She builds walls around her, cutting off that string connecting her to him.

When she opens her eyes, Ben is gone. 

* * *

She collapses onto her bunk, the door sliding shut behind her. Taking deep breaths, she strips down to her underclothes and tosses the dirty fabric to the side. There are flickers of blood staining the cloth, dried blood under her fingernails. 

The battle was brutal, in a quick, horrifying way. She had stepped over dead Resistance members and Stormtrooper alike, faces frozen in fear as blood streaked down their skin. The smell of ash and death had permeated the air. It was the kind of battle you washed away, cleansing yourself of the grime and the guilt. It was the kind of battle that thrummed in your veins for the rest of time.

Rey closes her eyes, letting her mind go blank as she breathes in and out. Silence hangs in the air, stiff and heavy, and soon all she can hear is her own breathing. _In. Out._ There’s something uncertain breaking through it, the sound of stuttered gasps building around her. She takes another deep breath, the gasps growing louder as her own breathing slows. The blood in her veins freeze. _Ben._

She doesn’t dare open her eyes, gripping at her pants as she listens to the panting echoing in the air. Her heart throbs against her chest, fingers shaking. She knows what’s happening, what she’ll see when she opens her eyes. _Don’t_ , her rational side screams at her. _Don’t you dare._

She’s never been one for ignoring her curiosity.

His left hand is braced against a wall, his bicep obscuring his face from her view. He is shirtless, and from this angle Rey can see the curve of his spine, the crunch of his abs, the flex of his tricep. His right hand is wrapped around his member, the appendage hard as he pumps it. His pants are unbuckled, hanging off his hips. His scar from the bowcaster is still an angry red against his pale skin. 

Rey gasps, feeling a flush overwhelm her body as she watches. Ben freezes, glancing over his shoulder to see her. His eyes are wide, cheeks flushed, brows raised. Something akin to… disappointment flashes inside Rey. She takes a step towards Ben.

“Don’t stop,” she whispers, desire coiling deep in her belly. Ben’s pupils are blown, his hand still gripping himself. Rey steps towards him again, blood rushing in her veins. She feels a rush when Ben’s hand starts to slowly move, touch tight as he pumps himself. She can't stop herself from biting her lip, and Ben groans at the sight, his fingers going faster.

“You can’t finish,” Rey says, voice low, “not without me saying so. Understand?” Ben’s lips are parted, hair a wild mess. 

“Yes,” he whispers, barely audible. He is hers to command. Her _servant_.

“Yes mistress,” she says. Something inside her tells her _this isn’t right. This is what the dark side looks like._ But it feels so right. It feels so good. And she _wants_ to. She wants to take control of something in her life. She always feels like a vessel, for the Resistance, for the Jedi. But here, with Ben in front of her, listening to her every word, she feels like herself for the first time in _months._ She can’t let this go. 

“Yes mistress,” he repeats, and it sounds _right_. She smiles, and reaches out, cupping his chin and turning his face so he faces her.

“Kneel.” He obliges, dropping to his knees, his hand still wrapped around himself. He looks up at her with lust in his eyes. With graciousness, with nervousness, he waits. 

“Pump yourself. Slowly,” her voice is husky and dripping with desire. Ben starts to move his hand, his eyes fluttering closed. 

Rey doesn’t think, just slaps him across the face, her heart jumping at the sound of her palm hitting skin. Ben gasps, his member twitching in his hand. “Keep your eyes on me,” Rey says as Ben’s pants, his hand shaking as he struggles to keep his strokes even.

“Yes mistress,” he whispers, the tremor in his voice sending a thrill through her. She rubs her legs together, surprised at the heat pooling in her core. Something about the sight before her sends a thrill through her entire body. She wants to see him suffer, see him fall apart and put him back together. She’s always wanted that.

She leans into him, parting her tunic and burying his face in her breasts as she runs her hands through his hair. He groans into her skin, his hand jerking erratically. Rey starts to pant, reaching between them and sliding her hand into her underwear. 

“Suck on them,” Rey demands. She needs this, her fingers rubbing circles into her clit as Ben’s tongue swipes over her nipples. She can’t help the groan that escapes her lips, her other hand pulling on Ben’s hair. He takes her nipple into his mouth and starts to suck, his tongue and lips sparking heat within her. 

“Mistress, please…” He’s begging now, forehead sweaty as his teeth graze her skin. “Please, please, let me go, please…” Rey takes her free hand and snakes it down his spine, revelling in the feeling of his muscles trembling. She rakes her nails up his back, groaning as he shivers under her touch. She’s so close, she can tell, and she’s muttering under her breath as she pants. Ben moves to the other nipple, sucking hard even as he licks roughly. 

“Stop pumping.” 

He obeys, his hands twitching and shaking as they grasp her hips. Heat flares in her belly, and she reaches down to grab his member. It’s dripping with precome, achingly hard and so beautiful. She’s never held one before, never felt the veins, the texture. Never seen the way a man reacts when she grips it, jerks it, brushes her fingers over it. Ben’s reaction is _everything_ ; he murmurs and groans and pants against her breasts. She’s never felt this way before, like she’s important, like she’s the queen. 

Ben is shivering on the floor, bowing over her. She pumps him, slowly and teasingly. Ben starts jerking, his body slick with sweat and arching under her touch. 

“Please, please, please,” he’s murmuring, voice cracking and pleading. She hesitates for a moment, then pumps him harder, faster, and he goes still underneath her as he spills into her palm, moaning quietly as he shivers and stutters. 

The sight of him, so mussed and broken, under _her_ touch, shoots lightning into her veins, and soon she’s arching her back as her fingers rub furiously, riding out the blinding pleasure crashing through her body. She gasps, grabbing onto Ben as her body clenches. It fades away into a comfortable pulsing, and she can’t help but smile. She takes Ben’s chin in her palm, tilting his head towards her. His pupils are blown, hair wild, lips parted and swollen, cheeks filled with blush.

He’s never looked so beautiful.

* * *

They are still enemies. It is only a matter of time before they meet on the battlefield. 

She’s caught unaware while the Resistance is smuggling supplies out of a First Order base. Rey is directing troops, keeping her senses open as she scans the hallways for Stormtroopers. Finn is behind her, lugging a crate full of weapons as Resistance members swarm through the hallways. She hopes, deep within her, that they will get through this without ever seeing a Stormtrooper. 

The Force has a funny sense of humour.

When they get out of the base, blasters are aimed point blank at their chests, blank helmets staring at them. Rey hears Poe curse under his breath, and he slowly raises his hand, fingers spasming in an oddly familiar way.

“Okay, okay,” Poe says, still twitching his fingers. It’s code. _G.E.T. R.E.A.D.Y._

“Surrender now,” the Stormtrooper in front says, blaster humming with power. Rey focuses on the Force, ready to pull her lightsaber to her hand. Poe points his index finger at the Stormtroopers. 

_Now._

The Resistance members grab their blasters, shooting at the Stormtroopers. Rey ignites her lightsaber and jumps into the fray, cutting down two of the troopers. She whirls around with her lightsaber, adrenaline rushing through her veins. 

There’s a certain type of excitement that arises from the midst of a battle, a rush that can’t be matched. She craves it at times, wanting to feel the satisfaction of cutting down her enemy. Before she can land her blow, her lightsaber is blocked, red sparks flying in her face. Rey’s stomach drops, knowing what she’ll see when she looks up.

Ben’s face is blank, eyebrows furrowed and mouth turned downward. But his eyes… his eyes are wide and filled with conflict. Rey spins out of the block, and stops. She stares at him, unable to move, unable to push away the image of his pale fingers grasping her hips and his head buried against her skin.

_Stop. You can’t. He is the enemy._ She takes a deep breath, trying to remember what her anger at him feels like. _Han’s lifeless body falling to the depths. Finn crying out in pain as his back is slashed open._

Rey strikes first, swinging her lightsaber at Ben as she shouts. Ben barely gets away in time, dodging to the side and throwing up his lightsaber to block her blue blade. They spin and twirl around each other, dancing in a fierce, deadly way. Ben is on the defensive, whirling his lightsaber in anticipation of Rey’s advancing attacks. 

She knocks him to the ground, lightly straddling him, her lightsaber aimed at his throat. He breathes heavily, and the world seems to quiet around them. Is the bond open? While they’re both here? His eyes are wide, mouth parted as he inhales air.

Rey’s stomach tightens and heat sparks in her core. She wants nothing more than to throw her lightsaber to the side and kiss those lush lips. Ben’s chest rises and falls, and his eyes drift down to her lips. If she sank lower, she would be able to feel him, surely hard at her actions. _They’re so close_.

As soon as it happens, it stops. Ben waves his hand on the edges of her vision, and she finds herself being blown backward, landing on her butt as Ben scrambles to his feet. She does the same, and they’re facing each other once more. There’s something different in the air this time, an electricity between them, as if the very air knew how close they had been. Rey’s heart is aching in an all-too familiar way as she takes a step towards him.

“C’mon Rey!” Finn shouts, and she inwardly feels _relief._ She nods in Finn’s general direction, still facing Ben as she takes a couple of steps backwards. She spins, sprinting to the shuttle that must’ve landed while she was fighting Ben.

When she looks back, as the ramp is closing and the shuttle is hovering in the air, she sees that Ben hasn’t moved at all. 

* * *

Rey’s legs are folded in front of her, hands resting on her knees as she concentrates on the ever-present string connecting her to Ben. She hasn’t been able to focus on anything since that day. Her mind keeps going back to the battlefield, to the feeling of Ben’s legs being squeezed by her thighs, to the look on his face as he waits for her to strike him down.

Her breath echoes in the still air. He’s here.

She opens her eyes to see him standing in front of her. Rey doesn’t waste time; she stands up and strides towards him, pushing him up to an invisible wall, wrapping her fingers behind his neck and pulling his face to hers. He moans in surprise as their lips clash against each other, eager and fiery. His hands hover over her hips, not daring to touch her. They are wearing too many clothes. 

She paws at the seam in his tunic, feeling for a way to pull it off of his body. His fingers cover hers as he undoes it, letting her throw the fabric to the floor. Rey doesn’t care that she's being too quick, too intense. She _needs_ this, like she needs oxygen, like the way planets need their suns. She needs him, needs his kiss and his touch and his body. She’s never felt this way about anybody, never seen anyone the way she sees Ben. 

Rey pulls off her undershirt, quickly unwrapping her chestwrap as she grinds against his crotch. Ben moans, clutching at her body, hands shaking as they roam around her back. She can’t think, can only step out of her pants and underwear as she shivers from his touch. As soon as she’s bare, he pulls away, stepping out of his boots and pulling his clothes off until he’s as naked as her. 

Her eyes roam over his body in a way she hasn’t allowed before. When she last saw him, chest bare, she was too focused on anger to appreciate him. Appreciate his toned muscles, the broadness of his shoulders, the bulk of his chest and arms, the thickness of his thighs. He’s panting, hair wild and eyes wide with lust and slight fear. His shoulders are tight, his hands flattened against the wall only he can see. 

His entire body is tense, nervous. Rey takes a step towards him, fingers brushing against his sternum. She makes her way up to his neck, fingertips dancing against his throat. She wraps her fingers around the back of his neck and pulls him close, pressing her lips to his. He responds eagerly, wrapping his arms around her as he slides his tongue past her lips. 

She pulls him towards the bed, pushing him down as she kisses up his jaw. He groans, hands spasming. An idea sparks in Rey’s head, one she can’t ignore. She sits up, pressing a hand against his chest. _Stay._ He seems to understand, not moving an inch, only looking at her with those swollen lips and lustful eyes. 

She raises her hand, slowly unwrapping her armwraps while she rocks against his crotch. His member presses against her, hard and dripping with precome. Ben moans loudly, biting his lip as he does his best to stay still. Rey takes the cloth and wraps his hands together above his head, tying him to the bed. Ben closes his eyes, murmuring incoherent praises. 

“Open your eyes.” It’s barely more than a whisper, but Ben complies. Rey takes her finger and traces the edge of her breast, keeping her eyes on Ben. His face is flushed, but he does not move. It sparks heat within her, encouraging her to flick at her nipple. He jerks underneath her, member sliding up her lips and brushing against her clit. 

“Patience,” she breathes out, and he bites his lip. Her hand snakes down her stomach, and she slowly rolls her clit under her thumb. She watches Ben as she pleasures herself, watches as he trembles and how he tenses his whole body and how he does not take his eyes off of her. The sight of him encourages her to go faster, to rush to the edge so she can finally take him inside her, so she can be as close to him as possible. 

Her wrist is starting to ache, but she doesn’t care. She can feel her body tensing, feel herself inching closer. When she’s almost there, she lines herself up and sinks onto him. It’s a weird feeling, having him inside her, but then she starts to rock, and he hits a spot inside of her. She’s collapsing, squeezing around him, fingernails raking down his chest in angry red lines. 

Dimly, she’s aware of him gasping and shuddering, then going still underneath her. She can feel his slick coating her insides, and as she rides out the last ripples of her orgasm she concentrates on this feeling. This feeling of Ben inside her, this feeling fluttering in her chest. 

This feeling that she doesn’t want to go away.

* * *

After that night, she closes the bond again. She only accepts missions that have a low chance of seeing him. She ignores the tight feeling in her chest when she inadvertently sees him. She focuses on the anger, the hate. 

But at night, when she’s lonely, she allows herself to dwell on it. On how he had kissed her with passion after they had rolled off of each other, then pulled her close to his chest where she could hear his heart beating. On how she had fallen asleep in his arms, feeling safe, feeling at home. 

How she had then woken up alone, realising that they could never be lovers, that this couldn’t continue. They were enemies. They would always be enemies. She had whispered an apology to the air, and locked her heart.

His face is everywhere. 

Haunting her. Taunting her. 

She cannot escape him.

His face is everywhere. 


End file.
